Sometimes, there are bad days…

As some of my friends may already know, my surgery didn’t happen. I cannot begin to describe frustration I feel. 

I showed up at the hospital at 7am yesterday morning, go to check in and they tell me there’s an issue with my insurance and there was never an approval code. 

So I sat down and waited, and waited, and waited some more. My doctor finally comes out and tells me that they didn’t approve it, and he thinks it’s because of my age. He was even on the phone with the insurance company himself trying to get the approval. 

Why wasn’t this taken care of before the day of my surgery you ask? Good question, I’d like to know that as well. Someone, somewhere dropped the ball and I got majorly screwed over in the process. 

The disappointment I feel is horrible, it still doesn’t feel completely real. You mentally, and emotionally prepare yourself for this big thing for so long, and when it doesn’t happen, it takes your brain a while to catch up with the reality. 

So the plan for now is to go on some medicine similar to the lupron injections I was on before, and reschedule my surgery for the early fall. I’m not sure where to go from here as far as the insurance goes, but I’m ready to fight. 

Thank you to EVERYONE for you continued positivity, and support. Now, more than ever it means the world to me! This ain’t over guys! πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ’œ

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The Night Before

So we’re 12 hours away from the big procedure! Surprisingly I’m not feeling nervous yet! I’m sure it’ll hit me once I’m at the hospital getting ready to go in for the operation, but maybe I’m not nervous because I know this procedure means there finally some relief in sight! Either way, I’m still feeling good about the whole thing. 

I spent today cleaning my room, and the apartment so that I have a clean place to come home to. Also, so it doesn’t drive me crazy when I can’t do any cleaning! Haha

I also packed myself a small bag to take with me to the hospital. I just put a few things in there to make the couple of days I’m spending there as comfortable as possible! My iPad, a pillow for my tummy, and a robe so that when I go on my walks everyone doesn’t get a free show in the hospital gown! πŸ˜‰

Well, that’s about it for the night before! I’ll do another update after the surgery when I’m out of my anesthesia induced haze!

One More Week To Go!

These last couple of weeks have been some rough ones. The seriousness of the choice I’m making is really starting to put its full weight on me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still 100% believe I’m making the best choice for myself, but the preparation and the gravity of it all is coming down hard lately. 

I’ve been having weird dreams about after the surgery, nothing bad but just me trying to do every day things with a huge scar on my belly! Lol And it’s been really hard to turn my brain off at night, so that’s making for some not so great nights of sleep. 

It’s so true that when it rains, it pours. Some of my dearest friends and family are also dealing with tremendous pain and stress, whether it be from health issues, or the loss of a loved one. My heart breaks for them. So it’s definitely safe to say my mind has been a crazy place lately. 

With all of that negativity I wanna also put some positivity out there. I am beyond lucky to have such an amazing support system backing me up and making me feel good from day to day. I truly wouldn’t be able to do this without the love and support of my friends and family. My only hope is that I’m able to make you all feel as loved and supported as I do. This is so much more than a physical journey, it’s an emotional and mental rollercoaster as well. It’s so important to have people, hell even just one person in your corner rooting for you. 

With all that said, we just have one more week to go! I honestly cannot wait!!